Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Orphan(2009) movie review

Hello everybody I'm back for another new installment of fandom, and today we're gonna talk about this movie that came out in 2009 known as 'Orphan'. yeah i know it's lame that i haven't seen the movie till over 4 yrs. after coming out but hey this is the same chick that can't ride a bike so yeah....


how do i put this....
WTF.

There is so much wrong with this movie, but so worth the watch. like the whole bad things happen where ever Esther is, or the fact that she is constantly switching between sweet girl and creepy calm is just a total whiplash fest. but the weirdest thing i find about this movie is the fact that they showed a commercial just before the movie about adoption. and i'm like "Fuck Havin' Kids!" i didn't like kids prior to this but still it sends shivers down my spine,
i think it's a neat set up for a movie though, family lost a kid then after grieving about it for a while they decide to adopt. meet the socially awkward little girl Esther, and then live happily for awhile. 






Now i have almost have 200 rules for horror movies and it just so happens that rule 101 is you don't talk to the person who sits off from the crowd they're either dead, going to be dead, or are going to make you dead. just leave em be and you live.
But they unfortunately break the rule:



and adopt Esther...

and have a nice happy SHORT time as a family. then as would be expected, children pick on Esther and the bro Daniel doesn't help her. then there's obviously something wrong when that STUPID LITTLE GIRL decides "hey i'm gonna grab that cloth collar-thing she's wearing"
why do you insist on doing that little girl?
yeah so then Esther kills a nun after killing a little bird and breaking that idiot girl's leg.
i mean god i would have seriously put 2&2 together and put an end to that shit right then and there!
the girl's an obvious nut-case, i mean you can sit there and here dan dan dunnn!!! as she stalks after the poor women in the final scenes!

dun-dun-dun!
but all in all orphan was a good movie, it kept me on the edge of my seat and proved me to be a little freakin' girl when it comes to psycological thrillers. 

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